man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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