do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
