Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
i think my cat just said my name.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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