Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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