he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
What a dumb baby whore.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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