Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize