Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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