Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
