Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think I won the penis lottery.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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