Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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