and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
