i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
