...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
