u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
