If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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