if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
