Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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