I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
This show inspires me to have sex in space
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
