she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize