I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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