if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
