What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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