get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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