we're blogging at a bar
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
