Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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