I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
They should really pass out barf bags in church
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
