i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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