Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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