thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize