if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
After last night, I could never be a politician.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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