ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
