I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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