i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
