evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
