I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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