Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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