do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
