My friends, they love my intelligence
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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