The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You're earring is so big in my mouth
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
