im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
