I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
