NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
