If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
