Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
