Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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