I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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