you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We had sex on a dog bed..
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize