im drinking this country out of the recession.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she smelled like a LAN party
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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