i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
