So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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