Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
