my mouth tastes like poor choices
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
