I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
a search helicopter?!
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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