Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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