he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
