Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
