Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize