with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
do herpes really smell.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
