Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
